Grabber’s Monte Carlo diary
In a parallel universe the Rendez-Vous de Monte Carlo did actually go ahead… and Mega Broker’s Steve Grabber kept a diary.
Thursday
I’m writing this from Nice aerogare Terminal One after making a hasty exit from Monte Carlo. Someone has dropped me in it and I suspect that person to be Ivan the Terrible’s so-called PA Irina. We were getting along famously, fuelled by Johnnyz’ 100% proof Novichoktails and her teaching me how to ‘twerkski’ between rounds.
I didn’t think anything of it when she asked to borrow my phone just to call her dear old babushka ‘dahlink’ from the Ladies room. Now I suspect she might have stolen my contacts list for phishing because several of them, including a VIP client, have received texts purporting to be from me demanding funds transfers for reinsurance placement commissions!
Some came through while we were actually on desserts in the client dinner at Chez Barnier Grill and just about to clinch a big new facilities deal. I tried to laugh it off as a prank played on me by a colleague but it didn’t go down well. One sarcastic client said, between mouthfuls of Egly-Ouriet Blanc de Noirs, that our commission structures were so complex that he wasn’t at all surprised to be asked to pay by bitcoin.
By all accounts the boss is furious and wants my head on a plate. To cap it all the Monaco gendarmerie passed on my name to the security here at the airport and they questioned me for over 2hrs about my links with Russian crime gangs.
I’m sure this will all blow over if I keep my head down for a bit and delay filing my expenses for a while. They say that what happens in Monte Carlo, stays in Monte Carlo. In any case I need to start thinking about Baden-Baden and the big marketing push we’re planning there. Note to self: check with German office about hosting a round table in the spa of the Hotel Bad zum Wurst…
